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♪ Ask the Fallons, Ask the Fallons ♪ -We're back.
-We're back.
We have our masks.
But there's no people around us.
So if we see people, we'll put it on, but we don't.
But anyways, we have questions from fans of the show.
-Can you believe it's been a week since we did this last? -No.
Feels like we did it yesterday.
[ Both laugh ] -Especially.
-Didn't we do it yesterday? -I think I might've done it yesterday.
-Okay.
We have a lot about you.
Drew Barrymore.
-Aww.
Party.
-"How did you meet Drew Barrymore?" -I met Drew Barrymore in Seattle, Washington, at an amazing little bar called 13 Coins that is still there.
And she was 19.
I was working for Clarence Clemons at the time.
The big man.
-Big man! -In San Francisco.
And she was working on a movie that my brother was working on.
He was P.
A.
'ing for the -- Or, no, he was a producer's assistant.
And we met and really got along.
But then, you know, thought nothing of it.
I mean, all good, great, great.
Went home, and three weeks later my roommate, Kevin Mersky -- Hi, Kev -- said, "Hey, someone's making prank calls on our answering machine.
" Yes, we had an answering machine.
And, uh -- [ Laughs ] -'Course.
-"And they're pretending that they're Drew Barrymore, and they're daring you to move to Los Angeles and start a production company.
" And I go, "Oh, I actually did meet Drew Barrymore.
" And, uh, I packed up and went down to L.
A.
-And there you go.
-And there you have it.
-"What do you do when you need inspiration?" -I need to kind of be alone.
I need to have my alone time.
-You drive.
-I love to drive.
-You drive, you drive.
-I love to do any kind of crafty -- anything with my fingers and hands.
And, um, -- Yeah.
I have to think, think it through, and then I can go back into the world and give it up.
-I think I watch something I would never, ever watch or read a magazine I never would read.
I love magazines.
-Yeah, you do.
-Like, I would read "Outside" magazine or "Outdoor," because I'm not outdoorsy.
Or I just, like, want to see -- I will never, ever see a crevasse.
[ Both laugh ] As long as I live, I won't even ever, ever tell you story about me and a crevasse.
-Remember when we went to Wyoming that summer to the dude ranch? [ Laughs ] -I became a man.
Yes, Wyoming is when I borrowed that dude's bolo tie.
Remember that? -[ Laughs ] It was a giant antler of some sort, right? -No, it was a sabretooth or something.
But I had your dad's Texas shirt, and I had a bolo tie.
-Yes.
-And I was wearing that and a cowboy hat.
I just wanted a full cowboy.
-Boots.
-Boots and all.
-Belt.
And then, I kept seeing this guy at the mess hall who had crazy bolo ties.
-Yes, he was amazing.
-Insane.
And I was like, "Dude.
" -Yeah.
-".
nice bolo.
" And he's like, "Thanks.
" I go, "Can I borrow that sabretooth one tomorrow night?" He's like, "You want to borrow my tie?" I was like, "Yes.
'Cause I have a shirt that's gonna rock with that.
And he was like, "Sure, I don't care.
" I'm probably the first person to ever ask him to borrow his clothes.
On vacation who asks.
-A stranger.
[ Both laugh ] -Yeah.
"You think, Jimmy?" Yeah, I think I was the first stranger to ask another stranger to borrow his clothes on vacation.
[ Both laugh ] Anyways, we traded ties just for the day, and I wore it with the Texas -- Oh, man, that was awesome.
If I could find that picture.
Do you have it? -Oh, yeah, somewhere.
-You do? -Well, yeah, but where and now? -I don't know where, yeah.
Where's anything? -Yes, I do.
-But anyways, yeah, that was fun.
But I like doing that to get inspiration.
Anything that's out of the ordinary, something I normally wouldn't do.
-Mm-hmm.
-And sometimes I just trap myself in a room with a keyboard and silence.
-Yep.
-Which just -- I just get so -- I just got to do something.
So I type my way out of it.
-And then I get a phone call like two hours later.
-"Honey, what do you think of this?" -"Listen to this.
" [ Both laugh ] -"Listen to this.
" -"Hey, I just thought of this.
" -"Listen to this song.
" -Yeah, they're always great.
-Is that your impression of me? -No.
-Do you have an impression of me? -Mm.
[ Sighs ] No.
[ Laughs ] I don't think so.
I mean, maybe, but I'll save it.
-Don't do it.
-[ Laughs ] -What's the hardest we both have ever laughed? Oh, so many times.
-God, we just get the giggles sometimes that are.
-Do you remember? -Just the best.
-Was it the wedding in France? -Oh, no.
-Wait.
The one where it was like 2 1/2 hours long? -No! -[ Laughs ] -That was rough, man.
-They're not together anymore, so we're not jinxing anything.
-I was so hungry, and people just kept whispering appetizers to each other in the church.
-Yeah, just through the -- -"Pigs in a blanket.
" [ Both laugh ] No, I was talking about the wedding where I woke up in the morning, and I go.
-[ Laughs ] I woke you up, and I go, "Honey, honey, honey," you're like, "Yeah?" "Good morning or whatever.
" I go, "Honey, one of us wet the bed.
" -"One of us wet the bed!" -[ Laughs ] -And I just laid there, I go.
-"Really? 'One of us?'" First of all -- [ Both laugh ] -I didn't even move, because, A.
-Yeah, I know.
But, B.
[ Both laugh ] "B," she was like, "we went swimming last night, you idiot.
" -We went swimming before.
[ Both laugh ] -That's enough for today, right? -That was funny.
I think that's good.
We'll see you next week.
-Or maybe not.
Maybe we'll take -- We don't know.
We'll take a week off.
We love you guys.
Thanks for asking those questions.
And, yeah, we love you guys.
Thank you.

 


-Welcome to "The Tonight Show." -Thank you, Franny.
Can you say it? Franny's younger than you.
How can -- she can say it and you can't? -Welcome to "The Tonight Show." -Oh, Winnie, thank you so much.
We have a great show tonight.
All new.
-Starring Jimmy Fallon.
-Oh! [ Laughter ] You never said that before.
Uh-oh.
Do you have anything else you want to say? -Poopy face? -Let's just start the show.
-♪ We in the house ♪ -Tonight, join Jimmy and his guests...
Ricky Gervais...
Billy Porter...
musical guest The Lumineers...
and the legendary Roots crew.
It's "The Tonight Show: At Home Edition." -♪ We in the house, y'all ♪ And now here's Jimmy.
-Hi, everybody.
Welcome to "The Tonight Show: At Home Edition." My name is Jimmy Fallon.
I'm so happy to have you guys watching the show.
It's Tuesday today, and Tuesday I say is just one day closer to Friday, isn't it, though? It's definitely not yesterday.
It is -- And it's not quite tomorrow.
It's almost, though.
It's almost tomorrow.
It's basically Wednesday.
Let's just act like it's Wednesday.
But it's Tuesday.
It's great.
Monday was great.
Done.
Forward.
Onward, upward.
That's what we're doing, okay? We're in this together.
Let's make this work.
Thanks for watching, everybody.
Hey, we're working with -- Salesforce really stepped up.
So any donation you make to World Central Kitchen, okay, Salesforce will match it up to $250,000.
That's maje.
All you have to do -- There's words on the back of this.
Text "Meals" to 80100.
And then that will be -- There's something else on the back of this.
Sorry.
-What is it? -I don't know.
It's something for you.
-[ Laughs ] -Sorry about that.
Winnie drew on the back.
-A love note? -It's a love note.
This is not my handwriting so -- -[ Laughs ] Something you want to tell me? -Interesting.
-Yeah, it is interesting.
Okay, so, alright, that is that.
We have a good show tonight.
We'll get to that.
But first, let's get to some jokes.
Guys, it is week seven of the quarantine, and we're running out of ways to entertain the kids.
Today, my wife and I told the kids to go outside and try to find Kim Jong-un.
Rumors continue to swirl about whether Kim Jong-un is dead or alive.
It's crazy.
Who knew Kim Jong-un would turn into this generation's Tupac, you know? Yesterday, President Trump said he knows Kim Jong-un's condition but can't talk about it now.
In response, Trump's entire staff told him to pretend the coronavirus is Kim Jong-un.
But today, South Korean officials said they know the whereabouts of Kim Jong-un.
Yeah, they think he's developing his new rocker persona, Chris Jong-Gaines.
Could be.
This is nice.
I saw that Facebook and Instagram are holding a big multi-hour graduation ceremony for the entire class of 2020.
Sounds cool until they start reading the names of everyone graduating this year.
Aaron Aaronson.
Aaron Aaronton.
[ Laughs ] Aaron Aaronwon.
A virtual graduation will feature appearances by Oprah, Miley Cyrus, Lil Nas X, and former Ohio governor John Kasich.
Kids were like, "OMG, former Ohio governor John Kasich! Are you kidding me?" I read that a Girl Scout's branch just received federal aid to make up for lost cookie sales.
Yep, the quarantine has been tough on Girl Scouts.
So if you can get some Girl Scout cookies, please order some.
But also to try and boost sales, the Girl Scouts are releasing some new limited edition flavors.
For instance, there is Used-to-be-Thin Mints.
Then there's Tag-Alones.
There's also Do-Si-Don't Touch Your Face.
Then there's Zoomacaroons.
And, of course, Presidential Bleach Bites.
Next, there's S'more Time Homeschooling your Kids.
Who couldn't use that, huh? There's also I-think-I'm-about-to Ginger Snaps.
And, of course, their best seller, Liquor-Doodles.
Good luck, girls.
They all sound like winners.
Listen to this.
I read that secret salons are now opening up around the country.
100 years ago, the mob was operating speakeasies.
Now they're like, "You need a perm? You should go to this address.
Okay? Okay, we got manis, we got pedis.
What do you want? Mani/pedi?" This isn't good.
In North Carolina, a dog has tested positive for COVID-19.
So if you thought teaching your dog how to shake was hard, good luck teaching him how to elbow bump instead.
Do dogs have elbows? And finally, I saw that U.P.S.
is using drones to deliver medication to a retirement community in Florida.
So don't panic if you see a bunch of old people screaming at the sky, "Where's my pills?" That is our monologue, everybody.
Oh, man, we have a good show for you tonight.
The very funny Ricky Gervais is on the show.
I asked Ricky what charity he wanted to go to.
He said, "I just don't want to play a game on your show.
I just don't want to play a game." And -- That's not -- That almost sounded like -- Who is -- Jason...
Statham.
I don't sound like Ricky Gervais.
"Ricky Gervais doesn't sound like that.
That's more like Jason Statham, like that.
He talks like that.
Yeah, what you doing? What's your name?" Jimmy? "Yeah, Jimmy's not a name for an adult man, is it?" No? James? "That's better.
Jim." Alright, call me Jim.
"What you do?" I'm, like, a talk-show host.
"Don't really like chat shows." 'Cause he said that to me once.
But Ricky Gervais is on the show, and he loves to laugh.
I love playing games with him, because he doesn't like to play games with me.
So I think that's what makes it fun.
Also, gosh, Emmy-winner, Tony-winner, Billy Porter on the show.
Actorsfund.org.
He's probably won more awards, as well, I'm probably not listing, but I do love Billy Porter.
I will say he definitely wins at the red carpet.
I mean, that dude just scores.
He's unbelievable.
I love him.
I mean, the hat that opens up? [ Whistles ] That was the best move.
And we got great, great, great music.
Man, we love them.
The Lumineers are on the show, and we love The Lumineers.
Let's see, they're doing "Salt in the Sea" from their album "III." But this is what they're doing.
They're working with MusiCares, and they have a COVID-19 relief fund for folks in the music community affected by the pandemic.
So you text "Lumineers" to 41444, or you text "Meals" to 80100.
This is the new way to donate.
Just do that.
Your phone will take care of the rest of the stuff.
It's amazing stuff, guys.
You'll be helping a lot of great people.
You know, it's Tuesday.
There's no real thing of what we're actually doing on our show.
There's no set things.
But now and then we like to have a routine, but this one thing we started doing, 'cause I have no guests and everything.
And -- We do have guests, and it's great now.
It's awesome.
But when we first started, I asked my wife if I could ask her some questions, 'cause she's our camera person, and she does not want to be on camera.
But for this, she'll make the exception, just 'cause we're here, we're home, we're trying our best, we're doing our stuff.
So this is "Ask the Fallons." You had questions for me, my daughters, my wife.
You had silly questions.
You had personal questions.
We're down with all of them, so, we appreciate them.
So now I'm going to go for a safe walk around my house with a mask, with my wife.
This is "Ask the Fallons." -♪ Ask the Fallons, Ask the Fallons ♪ -Okay, here we are.
This is "Ask the Fallons." Thank you very much.
You sent in a bunch of questions.
We have the masks on.
-Yes.
We are going to be very careful.
-If we see any people, we have to put the mask -- -We're putting them on.
-Yeah.
I'm going to hang one from the ear.
-I'm just not going to do that.
-Okay.
-[ Laughs ] -Alright.
Ready? -Yeah.
-Alright.
Nancy, you said last week your dream is to open a store.
What kind of store? -Um, that's probably why the dream hasn't happened yet.
[ Chuckles ] No, my store would be a treasure store, vintage, one-of-a-kind things, gifts.
Not expensive, not annoying, but just a place you could go in and just find, like, the best painting that you were looking for, that one-of-a-kind original pencil holder from someone a long time ago, that kind of stuff.
Not clothing.
Just -- -Not new stuff? -Not new.
-But a gift shop? -Loved.
Things that have been loved before.
-Oh, okay.
-Not really a gift shop, but yeah, a place you -- It would probably have a very specific customer, like me.
[ Laughs ] And then I'd have to give everything up.
-How did you know you were ready to have kids? -We were ready when we got married.
I got married later in life.
And you love kids, and I love kids.
And -- -That was always the plan, right? -That was just the plan.
It wasn't even a, like, "Are you ready?" It was just, like, "Now how are you going to do this?" And that was a whole other question.
[ Laughs ] -Yeah.
-But we did it! -That was an interesting time.
-Yeah.
So that was five -- five years of really, really, really, really, really deciding not to give up and to -- At a certain point, it just had to become almost like a job, 'cause it's way too emotional to live emotionally through that.
So you just keep going and going and going.
And if you really want something, you just make it happen.
And you have all these things where you go, "Yeah, but I would never do that.
Yes, but I would never do that.
But I would never -- And then all of a sudden, you're like, "Hey, I'll do that.
If it's for my family, I'll do anything." So I think if anyone's out there having the dream, do not give up.
Because I realize, too, that unlike even becoming like a multi-billionaire, you can stumble upon a lottery ticket and win it and win the lottery.
But you will not ever stumble upon a child that will -- you can love and have as your family.
So don't give up.
Take bad weekends.
Every time we got bad news, we would go away for one weekend.
And -- -We went away a lot.
-And then we went away a lot, yeah.
And some times were easier than others.
But then we'd just get right back -- back up.
-Gosh, that was just crazy, man.
That was nuts at one point.
-Yeah, it is -- -It was just shots and things...
-Oh, yeah.
-...and drinking weird teas.
Do you remember that one? -Oh, I cried 3, 14 times a day.
-Yeah, me, too.
I was -- -Just smelling this tea.
-I was sleeping upside down.
I was dangling from my -- from -- My feet were attached to the ceiling.
I had magnets in my underwear.
-Yep, the whole -- -Still do, man.
-Yeah, those magnets are still working, I think.
[ Both laugh ] -You know, I was stuck to the fridge.
I was stuck to the fridge for four days -- four days last week, no one found me.
[ Both laugh ] -Oh, that's where you were.
-Yeah.
But then all the things kind of just -- everything kind of -- Opportunities come up, and you have to, like, decide, is this the path you want to go? And, gosh, it was the best move we ever made.
-So lucky, yeah.
-We are so lucky.
We have two beautiful girls.
-Yeah.
-And, yeah, couldn't be -- -Couldn't be happier and more lucky and more in love with them and each other.
[ Laughs ] -They are the best things ever.
Someone put on there, "What advice did you take when you had kids?" -Ooh, I know.
Take no advice.
-Yeah.
Wait, that was my answer.
-Oh, whoopsie.
Uh...
[ Laughter ] -I would say do not take any advice from anyone.
-Yeah, listen, you'll know.
Our guts know.
We know.
Just -- -We got so many books.
-Don't overdo it.
Don't -- Yeah, no, I didn't read one book.
-So many books and things.
-No, no, no.
-Monks raising babies and -- -If you don't follow your gut...
-I read a little bit of that one.
-...you're going to lose your mind, actually quite literally, 'cause you won't really know what to do, and your instincts won't kick in.
You'll just be dulling your instincts.
No one really knows.
-No one knows.
-Just do the best you can.
Do -- And do it from love, and keep your sense of humor, and take deep breaths, 'cause they do help.
-Should we do one more? -Sure.
-If you could have dinner with any three people, alive or dead, who would they be? I say three people's the max, no matter who they are, alive or dead.
-Yeah, he does say that.
-I can only do -- I can say four.
-When he gets invited to dinners of like six people -- -No, no.
-He being the sixth -- -I can't do that.
It's too much work.
-[ Gasps ] Oh, sorry, bunnies everywhere.
My -- I have, of course, the long list of heroes.
But the real truth to this, it's so funny, and so I was thinking about this the other night is I would love my mom to have met Jimmy.
So it would be my mom.
Pammy Pam.
-You assuming that I'm coming to the dinner? -Yeah, it's you and Mom.
[ Both laugh ] Just Mom to talk about you, actually.
You can come for half of it.
-Mom and Abraham Lincoln.
-And then I want her opinion.
-Mom, Abraham Lincoln, and me.
-Abraham Lincoln, Maya Angelou, Jane Goodall, and you.
And that's a good party.
-Oh, that's too many people.
-I'm going, but now you won't come 'cause there are too many people there.
Yeah, you got to split it up.
Me, Maya Angelou, and Lincoln.
We're having our own thing, and we'll Zoom -- We'll Zoom party -- -You'll Zoom over with -- -To you and your -- -Me and Mom.
Mom and me.
[ Both laugh ] -Alright.
Did we do it? -I think we did it.
-I think we did it.
-Did our max.
-That's it.
-Everybody, stay strong.
-Yep.
Thank you, everybody.