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-Hey, everybody.
Welcome to "Tonight Show: At Home Edition.
" It's me, Jimmy Fallon saying hello and thank you so much for watching on a Wednesday night.
The week is halfway over, it's basically Thursday.
So, you know, good job, everybody.
Way to stay home.
Way to wear masks.
We're doing the right thing, we're flattening that curve.
Come on, we got this, guys.
Let's go.
It's Wednesday.
Two more days? Come on, we got this, right? Then the weekend's here.
Yeah, which is basically what today feels like.
Anyway, it doesn't matter.
Let's start with some jokes.
How about this? I'm very excited about this.
My guest tonight is New York Governor Andrew Cuomo.
Oh, my goodness.
I called Governor Cuomo yesterday and I said, "Hey, man, you busy tomorrow?" And he was like, "Not at all.
No, not doing anything right now.
I'm actually -- yeah, kind of bored.
I need stuff to do.
Yeah, I definitely want to do your show, Jimmy.
Thank you.
" So that's cool, he's doing that.
Guys, this Sunday is Mother's Day.
Oh.
.
.
-[ Giggles ] I saw that Louis Vuitton released a series of free e-cards.
What's better than watching mom's face when she gets something from Louis Vuitton and realizes it's just an e-card? Wow.
What? [ Laughs ] My mom would go level.
My mom would cry.
She would cry, right? She would go off and just start secretly crying somewhere.
-Mm-hmm.
Or nothing, really.
-[ Thick New York accent ] "I just thought -- I opened up the card and it's a Louis Vuitton.
I thought you got me a new bag.
And it's just a card.
It's very thoughtful.
" [ Laughs ] I can't believe this.
There's a new TikTok trend that's going viral -- oh, come on, it's called the Pee Your Pants Challenge.
And it's basically what it sounds like.
When I first saw it, I thought, you know what? We deserve the murder hornets.
Listen to this, researchers have found that otters are more likely to juggle rocks or pebbles when they're hungry.
So if you're keeping track, that's otter juggling study one, coronavirus vaccine, zero.
But the otter study, with the juggled rocks when they're hungry, yeah, that's proven.
So we got right on that one.
A new study was published showing evidence of ancient rivers on Mars.
Cool.
Yeah, you could tell they were rivers because of all the ancient Martian inner tubes and beer cans.
A lot of tubing -- a little Martian tubing up there.
[ Laughs ] Tubing.
Oh, man, that's great.
I read that the pandemic could lead to the end of crowded office meetings with all of your co-workers.
It's sad for the one guy who loved hearing the really long "Haaaaaa" at the beginning of the happy birthday song.
♪ Haaaaaaappy.
.
.
♪ Everyone.
Aaaa.
.
.
Not yet.
[ Sings ] Don't start the harmony yet.
I know you're the one who does the harmony.
♪ To you ♪ My dog just left.
Oh no, you're coming in.
Gary.
You like that? Did you think I called you? Man you're turning into kind of a smelly dog.
I don't know what to do with this dog.
I really can't take it right now.
Gary, you got to get out of here.
It's like being in like a high school locker room.
I'm not playing a game.
Oh no.
Whew! Gosh darn it.
Gary! Man, that is something else, man.
What is going down? -[ Laughs ] -Gosh, Gary.
I know you're a dog, but are you, though? We never knew you were a dog.
[ Laughs ] No, don't come -- I see the shadow.
Gary.
No, we've had enough.
Now, you had the ball and you were over there, and everything was fine.
You were taking a nap, remember that? Go back to do that.
All right, go.
You can go out that way.
Good girl, good girl.
Go out that way.
Lay down.
Lay down.
Lay down.
Lay down.
Whew! It's like she rolled in something insane, dude.
What is happening? I can't even look at you.
It's not your fault, it's all right.
I'll take care of you.
Sorry, Gary.
I think I insulted her.
I'll give her a treat later.
Is it the treats we're giving her? -I do not know.
-I got her new treats.
-I don't know if she found a nest and rolled in something but the insane scrubbing I gave her did not work, so.
-What in the what? That is insanity.
-.
.
.
after this.
-This is interesting, I heard about a company in South Africa that's offering virtual safaris.
Yeah, there's actually a name for virtual safaris.
It's called "watching National Geographic.
" So.
.
.
Kids, we got some virtual safari now.
I saw that Texas will soon allow hair salons, tanning salons, and gyms to reopen.
Which explains why the state is changing its name from Texas to Newer Jersey.
And finally, we've been seeing a lot of great reporters -- TV reporters out there giving us the news, and they're awesome.
So thank you for doing all that hard stuff, and that hard work.
We really appreciate it.
But what we also realized is that some of the interviews, the lighter interviews, people are wearing face masks, and there's a way to make them kind of say whatever we want them to say because their face is covered up.
I don't know, we gave it a shot.
Check out this new bit called "Face Mask the Nation.
" -♪ Face Mask the Nation ♪ -What is the short term plan in Miami-Dade county if they're not going to necessarily be opening up the beaches right now? -So the plan is to go into the ocean and pull the drain plug, drain out the ocean, and refill it when it is safe to do so.
-Let me show you how to properly wear a mask.
First you're going to want to tug on it with your filthy hands, and then expose just a little bit of chin.
Tempt the virus.
Show a little skin.
Flirt with her.
Hey, virus, how you doing? -I just feel like you say you want a commitment, but then when I get closer, you pull further away.
-Can I say something? -And then when I back off, you tell me we feel distant.
-Are you done? -So I don't know what to do, Amanda.
Because everything I do seems to be the wrong thing.
-Rick, I know about Debra.
-Ha ha! That was our monologue, everybody.
We have a great show tonight.
As I said earlier, Governor Andrew Cuomo is on the show tonight.
Man, is he doing an unbelievable job.
Thank you so much, Governor Cuomo.
I got to talk to him about everything that's going on and what he's thinking about everything and what the next steps are and how great New York has been handling all of this.
He's just a smart, smart guy and just really delivers the facts.
So, thank you for coming on.
We also have Gabrielle Union on the show.
Gabrielle is going to tell us everything she's doing for the LGBTQ community as well as team up with Questlove in a game that we're going to play later on in the show.
It's going to be fun.
And also, we have great music from Brad Paisley.
We love Brad Paisley.
The song is called "There's No I in Beer.
" [ Laughs ] That is great, man.
Oh, I thought of a country song.
"When it Rains, I Pour.
" -[ Laughs ] -It's about a dude, right? When he's bummed out, he goes to the booze.
-I love it.
-It's not bad, right? -Love it.
-Is it a song? -Yeah.
Is he depressed? -No, I mean, is it a song already? -Oh, no.
-All right, well.
.
.
Hey, guys, it's Wednesday, so we're going to do our bit called "What Are You Doing Wednesdays.
" Here we go.
-♪ What are you doing this Wednesday? ♪ ♪ What are you doing this Wednesday ♪ -Hey, guys, we're doing this thing on Wednesdays which I think I'm just going to keep up with the show because it makes me laugh.
It's "What Are You Doing Wednesdays.
" I just see things, people send me videos of people online doing something that just makes me laugh.
And so if it makes me laugh, hopefully it will make you laugh and bring a smile on your face.
The first one is from Stefani Davis, who thought of a way to play wine pong.
Which, by the way, I think I've heard of that before? I know beer pong.
Wine pong is a thing? But she thought of a way to play wine pong by herself.
Look at this thing.
-Mommy! [ Shouts ] [ Excited chatter ] -Oh, that's.
.
.
-[ Laughs ] -Ha! -[ Laughs ] "Hey, Mom? Mom, can we come in?" "Uh, Mom's showering.
don't come in.
" This next one is called "The Fence Hack.
" And this is two next-door neighbors, they find a way to make their fence work better in their favor.
Check it out.
♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ -I mean, if that just doesn't say America for you.
And ingenuity and creativity and awesome and friendly neighbors and the kids and everyone.
But distancing and just -- That is awesome, I love that.
Thanks for doing that, guys.
This last one here is from @Alexpresley's family.
They got bored.
They invented a new game.
And I think this game is going to take off.
I mean, bigger than football, bigger than wrestling.
This is the new thing, this is family backslide race, where they're sliding on their backs and racing around into the living room.
[ Laughs ] Watch this.
-On your mark, get set, go.
-Go, go, go.
-Oh! -Wow.
-Oh, [indistinct] So good! -Oh! -5:56.
-Whoo! -Go! -Go, Rudy, go, go.
-It's the mom.
[ Laughing ] -She's moving.
[ Shouting ] -[ Laughing ] -Go! -7:40.
-Not bad.
-Go.
[ Shouting ] -Go, go, go, go, go! -Whoo! -Wow! -[ Shouting ] -4.
2.
[ Laughter ] You see mom cooking right there? She was going for it.
I loved it so much.
Guys, that was "What Are You Doing Wednesdays.
" Thank you so much.

 


-Hello.
Can you see me? I'm hiding.
I'm gonna be hiding for the whole episode of "The Tonight Show: At Home Edition" tonight.
Let's see if you can -- Oh, did see me move? Did you see -- Ah.
Did you see? Just kidding.
Hi, everybody.
All-new "Tonight Show: At Home Edition" starts now.
♪♪ -♪ We in the house ♪ Come on! -Tonight join Jimmy and his guests, Shailene Woodley, Maluma, musical guest Thom Yorke, and the legendary Roots crew.
It's the "Tonight Show: At Home Edition.
" -♪ We in the house, y'all ♪ And now, here's Jimmy.
-Hey, everyone, welcome to "Tonight Show: At Home Edition.
" This is the hidden episode because we tried to make this space into a room where we might do some jokes from, but the acoustics are pretty bad, and the lighting isn't great.
The wallpaper's great for what the room normally is but not for this.
So we tried to make it look like a setup, but it's not a setup.
Anyways, so this is kind of a hidden episode because we'll never shoot like this ever again.
This will be the first and last time we broadcast from this exact space, doing exactly this.
So, you found me.
You found the hidden episode.
Congratulations.
[ Laughs ] Well, let's get to some jokes here, everybody.
Costco announced that, starting next week, all customers will have to wear face masks.
It's good 'cause now you can stay anonymous while you buy 6 gallons of cheese balls.
I love cheese balls.
-You do.
-What did we get -- We did get them in, like, a bucket or whatever.
-Every summer.
Every summer.
-Gosh, it tastes better the more you -- no one eats them.
-Three months in, they're even better.
-[ Laughs ] They almost become a gelatinous cheese ball.
-One big ball.
-They become spreadable.
Meanwhile, a new undercover video apparently shows Home Depot employees refusing to wear masks at work.
And people are shocked.
They said, "Home Depot has employees? Where? Hello, hello, hello? I need help, help.
I just don't know where, where to get, get, a ball-peen hammer, hammer.
Anyone work here, here?" I guess I'll just use the self check-out, check-out.
" That was my echo training.
I saw that Disney World is trying to reopen, and they're considering asking guests to wear masks.
It might be necessary but also takes the fun out of seeing a photo of yourself on the roller coaster looking like this.
You got to do a lot of eye work.
For the whole time, because you never know when they're gonna take the flash, either.
They'll still charge you for that photo, though.
Don't worry about that.
For the first time ever, movies that were streaming only will now be eligible for Academy Awards.
They made the switch after realizing the only movies in theaters this year would've been "Sonic the Hedgehog" and "Dolittle.
" [ Chuckles ] It was just announced that all the world's major film festivals are going to be consolidated into one virtual event that you can view online.
They've even come up with a catchy name for it -- Netflix.
In a new interview, Dr.
Fauci said, "We're not ready for sports to come back yet.
" I don't know.
I think I was ready yesterday when I watched eight hours of the World Series of Solitaire.
Well, this is great.
Yesterday, the cast of "Melrose Place" reunited to raise money for struggling actors.
Which means all the money raised will go to the cast of "Melrose Place.
" I saw that an 11-year-old boy in Colorado caught a trout the size of a toddler.
At least that's what he said until his mom was like, "Ugh.
Please unhook your brother.
" I read about a beekeeper in London who uses the sounds from his hives to make electronic music.
So any time you're stressed during quarantine, just remember, you could be living with that guy.
♪ Bzzz, bzzz, bzzz, bzzz bzzz bzzz, bzzz, bzzz ♪ ♪ Bzzz, bzzz bzzz bzzz bzzz bzzz bzzz bzzz bzzz ♪ ♪ Bzzz, bzzz, bzzz, bzzz, bzzz, bzzz, bzzz ♪ Good.
[ Laughs ] Finally, I heard about a group of German doctors who posed naked online to raise awareness for their lack of protective equipment.
It taught me two things -- one, doctors everywhere need our support.
Number two, it's still cold in Germany in April.
There you guys have it.
That is our monologue right there.
I appreciate that.
Thank you for listening to those.
We have a great show tonight.
First of all, I wasn't to say Salesforce is helping us out.
Anything you can donate to Salesforce between -- Sorry.
To World Central Kitchen between now and June 1st, Salesforce will match up to $250,000.
So, you can text "meals" to 80100, and that will totally help and totally work.
I think it charges your phone a dollar.
You can do it really quickly.
You can do it right now.
Have your kids do it.
Show your kids how to donate.
"This is how you do it, kids.
" And, Salesforce, thanks for stepping up.
That's awesome that you're doing that.
We have a great show tonight.
Shailene Woodley is on the show tonight.
I love talking to Shailene.
Normally, I would -- You know, I would give her a hug, and clearly we can't do it.
I don't even know if people are gonna hug anyone.
But she taught me a cool hug for those of you with people that you can hug.
I can hug you, honey.
But what she does is, she hugs the opposite way, so our hearts touch.
-Mm.
-That's cute.
And so I've done that a couple of times -- shown that to a couple of people.
They like that.
But that's -- It always reminds me of Shailene Woodley.
Also, Maluma.
Gosh, this guy is on fire.
He's just the biggest of all big.
I love Maluma.
After he did that concert, by the way, that we did with Lady Gaga, "One World Together At Home," his song went to number one that he did, "Carnival.
" Went to number one, because he's great.
And then, speaking of music -- So check this out.
You're not even gonna believe this story.
Thom Yorke, from Radiohead -- Thom Yorke -- was thinking about what song to do for our show.
We love Thom Yorke, we love Radiohead.
A piece of paper falls out of his piano thing, and it's a song that he -- he didn't know if he was gonna finish or not.
He finished it for our show.
"Plasticine Figures.
" The debut of the song.
Never been heard outside of Thom Yorke's brain.
Will be played tonight for you guys.
Thom Yorke, brand-new song, "Plasticine Figures.
" What? That is the coolest thing ever.
I love you, Thom Yorke.
Hey, guys, it's time for a little thing called "What are you Doing Wednesday?" -♪ What are you doing this Wednesday? ♪ ♪ What are you doing this Wednesday? ♪ -This first one here -- a lot of the -- The first three are dad ones.
This first one is from @shavaunblair.
Helps his baby out with a top-secret mission.
♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ -♪ Doom doom, da-doom-doom ♪ Should you choose to accept it.
This next one is a dad.
He likes to multitask.
While making dinner, he has to do other things.
Watch.
Shh.
Parent of the Year right there.
I love that move.
Parent of the Year.
That's good.
Cooking and pulling the swing.
This next one is from @sidevelinbabies.
Her sister told her dad about her bad grades, and her dad came in and talked to her about.
Watch.
-You had two tests.
-I did them.
-You got a 53 and a 60.
You can cheat.
It's online.
-I did cheat! -And you still got a 53 and a 60? -Yes.
-No way! He's the Dad of the Year.
"Honey, you cheated and still -- Well, cheat better next time.
You cheated and still failed?" [ Laughs ] That's great.
This last one here just kind of made me feel good.
It's a neighborhood, sent from @Laurantfornel, posted a video of her neighborhood doing a socially distant line dance.
It's pretty cool.
Check it out.
♪♪ ♪♪ [ Clapping ] Ah, makes you feel good.
That is awesome, guys.
Congrats to everyone who just joined in and did that.
That must have been a cool moment for everyone.
We'll be right back with more "Tonight Show," everybody.
♪♪ ♪♪ -Two kids coloring together.
Some friends celebrating a holiday.
Lovers caught in an embrace.
An office hard at work.
A mixed-race family caught in a candid moment.
And a sad boy looking out of the window.
We may not be able to make commercials right now, but we can still make pictures zoom in and out.
Stock images.
♪♪